The end of the year is fast approaching and you know what that means...
Snow is falling (maybe), wood is burning in the fireplace, you are cuddled up on your sofa with a hot chocolate and a fuzzy blanket.
Unless of course you live in north Alabama where the weather can't decide if it wants to be hot or cold, or both in the same day!
But hey, we can only control so much.
Regardless of whether it’s warm, cool, or cold where you are Fall and Winter means it’s time for the holidays.
YAYYY! Right? Or maybe you aren't feeling quite so enthuisiastic which would be a good amount of the population.
So let's discuss these 10 tips to help you navigate the holidays with your family.
Navigating holidays with family can be challenging, especially when there are differing expectations or tensions. Here are some healthy strategies to manage the stress and maintain balance:
1. Set Boundaries Ahead of Time
Communicate clearly with family members about your plans, limits, and needs. If there are topics or behaviors you want to avoid (e.g., political discussions, personal questions), it’s okay to kindly express that beforehand.
Practice saying no if you feel overwhelmed by too many activities or obligations.
2. Manage Expectations
Acknowledge that no family is perfect, and holiday gatherings may come with stress. It’s helpful to lower expectations and accept that some things may not go as planned.
Plan for flexibility—understand that everyone is juggling their own emotions and expectations during the holidays, which may lead to unanticipated reactions.
3. Create a Self-Care Plan
Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and exercise so you can feel your best.
Take breaks when needed. It's okay to step outside for fresh air, take a walk, or find a quiet space to reset.
4. Focus on Gratitude and Connection
Shift the focus from potential conflicts to gratitude for the time spent together. Look for moments of connection and positivity.
Engage in mindful conversations by listening actively and avoiding reactive responses.
5. Limit Time with Difficult Family Members
If there are family members who tend to create stress, limit one-on-one time with them and try to stick around supportive people during the gathering.
You can step away gracefully if conversations become too intense or confrontational.
6. Practice Grounding Techniques
Utilize grounding techniques to stay calm and present, such as deep breathing, using the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method, or doing a quick body scan.
If you feel anxious, pick a color or object to focus on, and notice everything about it in the room to ground yourself (similar to what you use with clients).
7. Prepare for Difficult Conversations
Plan responses to questions or topics that might cause stress. Practice neutral responses or ways to redirect the conversation politely.
It’s okay to say, “I’d rather not discuss that today” or change the subject to something lighter.
8. Use Humor and Lightness
Humor can defuse tense situations. Laughing off minor annoyances can keep the atmosphere lighter and reduce stress.
9. Stay Connected to Your Support System
Check in with supportive friends or a therapist if the holidays feel especially difficult. Sometimes talking to someone outside the family can help you gain perspective.
10. Set an Exit Strategy
Know when it’s time to leave, and have an exit plan. If things start feeling overwhelming, it’s okay to leave early or take a break from the gathering. Communicate this plan to someone supportive beforehand.
Remember that it is also ok if you decide to not spend the holidays with your family of origin (parents, siblings, etc.). Maybe you want to focus on your friends, your significant other, or even spending it with yourself. However you decide to celebrate is ultimately your choice!
This was written by Kendal Gerrity, M.S., LMFT She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Metamorphosis Therapeutic Counseling, LLC. She offers individual, family, and group counseling. Contact her today for a free phone consultation.
Phone: (256) 631-7898
E-mail: mtc@kendalgerrity.com
Comments