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Self-Care vs. Coping Skills

Writer's picture: Kendal GerrityKendal Gerrity

How many times have you heard the importance of self-care? Probably a lot. Probably so much you are tired of hearing the term "self-care."


So, what does it mean exactly?


Self-Care: the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.


When most people think of self-care, they imagine going to get a massage, a tropical vacation, or some other expensive type of activity.


Don't get me wrong, those things are great! However, if the only time you engage in self-care is when you have extra money lying around then you might be needing more coping skills to deal with stress.


Some self-care activities can be the same as your favorite coping skills.


The biggest difference is the current state of your mental health when you apply them.


If self-care is taking actions to preserve one's health, then what is a coping skill?


Coping: defined as the thoughts and behaviors implemented to manage internal and external stressful situations.


Let me explain this a little bit differently..


Imagine a cup OR maybe your favorite emotional support water bottle.



When you implement self- care activities (i.e. reading a book, listening to music, taking a nice bath/shower, talking to a friend/loved one, going for a walk, exercising, etc) you are adding water to your cup. Let's say 1 cup at a time.


With some consistency and effort, your cup may start to overflow in the best way.


Then when a stressor happens like being late for work and getting in trouble, an argument with your partner, or failing a test, life starts to deplete your water at maybe 1/2 a cup at a time. Hopefully, you will still have some left over.


If not, that is when coping skills may come in to play!


Let's say you've been slacking at the self-care and prioritizing yourself. I mean it happens, right?


So, your cup is fully depleted and those stressors start piling on. You start to get overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, etc. and on the verge of a "mental breakdown."


Coping skills are what are needed to manage your emotional responses to these stressors.


To re-cap, self-care is proactive and coping skills are more reactive.


You may be like "this is great and all, but what if I have no clue what my self-care OR coping skills should be?"


You are in luck! Below you can find some examples of self-care activities and/or coping skills, but ultimately you will figure out what works the best for you!


Physical Self-Care Examples:

  • Eat a healthy meal

  • Engage in exercise

  • Go for a walk

  • Drink water

  • Practice good sleep hygiene (click here for more information)

  • Have a cup of tea

  • Sit in the sunlight

  • Take a shower or bath

Mental Self-Care Examples:

  • Practice mindfulness

  • Take a break

  • Play video games

  • Listen to music

  • Read a book

  • Listen to a podcast

  • Reflect on things you are grateful for

Spiritual/Social Self-Care Examples:

  • Pray

  • Call/text a friend

  • Connect with nature

  • Meditate

  • Engage in self-reflection

Emotional Coping Skills:

  • Allowing yourself to cry

  • Feel and express your feelings in a healthy manner ex: journaling, drawing, painting, talking to a trusted friend/loved one, etc.

  • Find things that make you laugh or feel joy

  • Listen to music

  • Take a moment to express gratitude

  • Engage in mindfulness activities

Physical Coping Skills:

  • Cook your favorite dish or meal

  • Go on a walk

  • Exercise or do some stretching

  • Drink more water

  • Get a massage

  • Dance

  • Go to bed early, take a nap or sleep

Social Coping Skills:

  • Ask for help

  • Call a trusted friend or family member

  • Spend time with your pet/animal

  • Go visit with a friend

  • Facetime or video call with someone you enjoy

  • Spend quality time with your children





This was written by Kendal Gerrity, M.S. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Metamorphosis Therapeutic Counseling, LLC. She offers individual, family, and group counseling. Contact her today for a free phone consultation.


(256) 631-7898 E-mail: mtc@kendalgerrity.com


Kendal Gerrity, LMFT is not a medical doctor and you should seek medical advice from your doctor to better understand your diet and exercise choices.


*Information involved in this blog was pulled from The University of Toledo and research articles from the U.S. National Library of Medicine.

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